We Need To Talk About Jordan
Ireland's biggest rapper is a dud
Recently I was listening to the (very good) chat between Colm from fourth best magazine and Dylan Murphy from Mabfield about the future of Irish music journalism. They touched on some really fantastic topics that wouldn’t do justice to summarise here.
One of the things that stuck with me was their discussion about critiquing Irish music. Ireland has a blossoming but fragile music scene. To criticise these artists, most of which still have a day job, feels wrong. “So often you know these guys, you meet them in the smoking area”, remarks Colm at one stage. Irish music in general needs a whole push just to get a smidgen of attention from an outside audience, so to critique the few that don’t impress you feels uncomfy. But I think it’s time I took up the mantel. This is also inspired by Eli Schoop over at No Bells, professional hater extraordinaire, who has been tearing into everything I love. And with that…
I do not like Jordan Adetunji.
Jordan has been doing the rounds with the song of the summer KEHLANI at the moment. I’m not a fan of it. I’ll admit that the opening lines “I like the way your body is/ Is that too obvious?/ Ok I like your confidence” make me giggle and twirl my hair. The lyrics go downhill from there, never really finding anything as interesting. It’s certainly earwormy. Jordan’s falsetto voice sounds like it’s already been set at “TikTok sped-up version” mode (don’t worry, there is a sped-up version anyway, as well as a slowed-down one).
Naming your song KEHLANI is a lazy attempt at creating a viral moment (see: Jack Harlow’s Dua Lipa, $NOT’s DOJA or Armani White’s BILLIE EILISH). The idea of Kehlani precedes the song itself. Being overshadowed by someone who isn’t even on the song is not a good look. When Kehlani hopped on the remix, it wasn’t a “full-circle moment”. It was an ouroboros, a snake swallowing its own tail.
The song has a sexy drill type-beat, but Jordan doesn’t have what it takes to elevate it. Cash Cobain and Chow Lee have innovated so much in the past few years that Jordan simply doesn’t cut it. I relistened to Chow Lee’s most recent album, and going from Jordan’s humdrum romance to Chow Lee’s horny hymns is like whiplash. Lines like “Most of my bitches like sex, I like sex too, that’s why we get along” and “She want a sextape, I made a mixtape/ ‘bout the sextape” remind me why sexy drill is good: it’s SEXY!
Scrolling through his Instagram, past the walls and walls of fit pics, you’ll find videos of when Jordan was just starting out, promoting songs mixing “hyperpop and jersey club” as well as “mathrock x hyperpop x jersey club”.
I can’t really say much about these promos. They’ve become part of the cycle of being an artist online now, the constant attempt to garner attention in a system that seems to have become more and more randomised. It’s never the artist’s fault for having to navigate the algorithm. In fact, my favourite song of his, INVOLVED, came from a TikTok stitch.
What I do take issue with is the constant genre-hopping. Despite mixing hyperpop, mathrock (brakence was making better hyperpop/mathrock songs well before Jordan even came up with the idea), afrobeats, jersey club and now sexy drill, his sound still sounds three steps further than your average 24kgoldn song (a 24kgoldn diss in 2024- how daring!). On his album from last year, he struggles to truly leave his comfort zone. On certain songs, he attempts a stale Carti rage beat, only to default back to the jersey club he knows and loves. And that’s fine! Jordan is really good at coming up with hooks that get stuck in your head. His lyrics may be somewhat sterile, but I’ll always take the bait on a good hook. But by racing through genres without offering any new takes on any of them, he proves that he’s not versatile, just willing to fall flat on his face more often than other musicians would be comfortable with.
As I write this, his newest song has just released with a feature from Lil Baby. Getting a Lil Baby feature is perhaps the biggest thing to happen in Irish hip-hop since Rejjie Snow got an MF DOOM feature (P.S. that song isn’t especially good either). In fact, I would even say Jordan is better on this song than Lil Baby. The beat is another sexy-drill knockoff, diluted even further. It seems to have been produced by electronic duo Chase and Status, two English, 40 year old drum and bass-heads, completely detached from the New York sound they are replicating. It doesn’t have the same earcandy as KEHLANI, but it’ll surely climb up the pop charts nonetheless.
Jordan has been working tirelessly for several years now. To label him a one-hit wonder seems disingenuous. But it’s hard to get excited when the biggest Irish rapper right now doesn’t have an identity that doesn’t already belong to someone else.
-Leo
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